I thought I would write an end of the year post about my thoughts on 2020. More then anything, this post will be something interesting I can look back on in a few years. So bear with me as I use this blog for a personal journal.
Where to begin! This year has taught me so much. It’s taught me things I didn’t think I needed to learn. Isn’t it interesting how God works? I’m convinced if you’re willing to see, He’s always standing by ready to challenge you and your ideas.
The biggest one for me so far has been the fact that I can’t trust anyone but Him. Now hear me out, I CAN trust my husband (and I do!). I also trust my parents and my siblings. That’s not the type of trust I’m referring to. The (mis)trust I’m feeling deep inside comes from other Christians I’ve looked up to. (If you’re a Christian whom I know in real life, please don’t think I’m talking about you! Hehe) The Christian leaders who have taught me so much over the years. In 2020, they have proved they’re human. Gasp, I know! I’ve been so disappointed by things that have been said, or more importantly things that haven’t been said. I’ve been so disappointed by a lack of unity within the body of Christ. Not just a fracture, but a Grand Canyon size hole within the body. It hurts my head even as I type this. I often wonder if I’m too worried about things?
Then it hit me this morning. This is good. It’s great even and totally necessary. I know the one I can trust. His name is Jesus. He guides and directs me. His spirit speaks to me when I’m wrong and convicts my heart. When I have no clue what’s going on, I turn to Him for discernment and wait for answers.
This year I’ve dug into the Bible more then I have in my entire life. I won’t pretend to know everything- but I do know this, I can trust His word. I don’t need the ones I’ve been looking to for understanding. Their role in my life has served a great purpose! Now I’m convicted that I need to seek biblical truth and pray for insight, all on my own. An article or post is no longer necessary to give that insight to me. I believe the Lord will be faithful to supply that through reading, prayer and His spirit speaking to my heart.
Now hear me out, I’m not turning away from preaching and teaching. At all! It’s more that preaching and teaching is now secondary to my own scripture study and prayer. It’s easier to weed out truth from fiction if we KNOW the truth. I used to worry I didn’t know enough, so I felt the need to read other peoples interpretations and opinions. Now it’s starting to turn the other way around. My knowledge is increasing, therefore I’m reading other people’s interpretation and opinions with fresh eyes. Let me tell you, it can be disappointing. It can also be refreshing when you find those who plainly speak biblical truth, devoid of frills and unconcerned about consequence.
So that is my deep 2020 thoughts in a nutshell. It’s been a roller coaster for us all. But I’m prayerfully expectant that the Lord is moving in more then just my life. He’s revealing himself to others and we are getting back to basics. A relationship with Him where no storm will rock our boat.